Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
