I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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