I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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