I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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