I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
