Buhtt sex?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
