We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
