Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
