apparently the secret to your success is patron
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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