You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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