My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
