dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
