i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize