it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
