She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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