your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
