He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
