I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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