I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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