The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
