seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
