My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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