if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm just crazy horny about you
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
