I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
