Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
