The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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