nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
