I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
