he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
