I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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