It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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