remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
