He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
