Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am one with the molecules
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
