hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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