is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
