I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
