then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
