I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize