OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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