I think my fart just growled at me.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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