but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
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At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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