Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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