I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
two words: eviction party
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
