I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
