So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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