god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize