You're so nebulous sometimes
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
