I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
