So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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