she's into porn, im staying here tonight
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
