i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
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I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
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No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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