Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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