Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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