am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
