Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
