okay pat passed out under dana's car
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
