The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
