I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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