I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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