I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
