You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you traded sex for a burrito?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize